My thoughts are stars...

...I cannot fathom into constellations. 
-John Green via Augustus Waters

That's exactly how I've been feeling lately. At times my mind is moving a million miles an hour and I get all these great project ideas or general creativity bursts, but as soon as I've had time to relax and unwind and find a notebook to write them all down in, they're gone. My brain just stops. I guess I get overwhelmed by everything and shut off. And of course this isn't just a recreational creativity thing; it's also had a huge impact of my work life.

Until now (today, specifically) I haven't known what to do about it, but at work today I had a bit of a meltdown in front of my boss regarding the issues discussed in this post, and despite his tendency to talk and talk and not let me get a word in edgewise, I was able to convey to him all the feelings I didn't even realize I was having about my internship. Talking to him and more so listening to his perspective on my time with the company has helped me work out where I want to go from here. I'm not going to go into the details, because frankly I haven't figured them all out yet, but I definitely feel like I'm taking steps in the right direction.

Then a similar thing just happened/is currently happening with my roommate Ally. We're both posted up in a coffee shop in the East Village discussing blogging while simultaneously actually blogging. We've been talking about having great ideas about blog posts and instagrams we think of during the work day, then by the time we get back home, we've lost creativity and/or motivation (not to mention energy). It's like my brain has only two gears: hurricane and sloth. No matter how many sticky notes, electronic and paper, I write myself or notes written on my phone, most of my ideas just fizzle out to nothing.

The point I'm trying to make is that when this happens to me, the best thing I can do for myself is to talk through my thoughts with someone whose opinion I respect and value. By sitting down and sorting through the mental static, I'm able to identify specific goals, and figure out what steps need to be taken to achieve them.

Stay tuned for more meta coffee shop posts ;)

KB

P.S.: This is the instagram I posted while writing this post.

I made a mistake

So remember how I mentioned my internship in NYC this summer? Well as I didn't mention before, it's at NBC Health and Fitness Center. Yes, that NBC. The one at 30 Rock. But to tell the truth, I really don't think it's the job for me. Of course the facility is nice and the people who work there are great, even the members are wonderful and encouraging, but a corporate gym is just not a place I see myself spending the majority of my career. I've realized I'm interested in a more personal approach.

In Baton Rouge there are a few holistic health facilities specializing in corrective and functional exercise, allowing clients to live a higher quality life with fewer injuries and more health benefits. I'm sure this type of place exists in New York, the problem is that isn't where I'm doing my internship. On a nearly daily basis I find myself wishing I was at one of those Baton Rouge facilities, but then I take a step back and realize I'm living in New York City for three months. When else would I have a chance to do that? Probably never. 

If I'm honest, spending the summer in New York was a huge factor in deciding on an internship, but lately I've been questioning that decision. I'm far from home and everyone I know (except my brother). Everything is more expensive. I'm living in a tiny, filthy dorm. And it's been quite the financial aid nightmare. If I'd stayed in Baton Rouge I'd be near all my friends, I'd have a job with actual cash flow (in addition to the internship), I'd still be in my roomy townhouse (with a glorious, spacious kitchen), and I'd be able to see my family whenever I like.

But...

I've made three great new friends in my lovely roommates. I've gone on fun weekend adventures with them. And had all kinds of crazy experiences I never would have dreamed. I wouldn't call it stepping outside my comfort zone so much as leaping out then sprinting away, and I wouldn't have done it any other way.

So all in all, I don't regret the decision I've made. Although my job isn't what I'd ideally like to do in future, I'm still learning tons and getting all kinds of important experience under my belt (and on my resume). And I am beyond grateful for the opportunities I've been afforded by the Fitness Center and my supervisor. 

Have you made any questionable career choices? How did they turn out?

KB

P.S.: This was taken a couple Sundays ago in Sheep Meadow. It was such a lovely day and it seemed like everyone left in the city was there sunbathing.